Very Official

To whom it may concern

Last month, in issue 7 of this publication, certain allusions were made concerning our client Lawrence, hereinafter (3 gns.) referred to as ‘the long-haired Weirdo’, and the unpublished failure of H.M. Police National Computer Unit of no fixed security. Notwithstanding hereinunder (3 gns. each) any further charge that may arise from analysis of certain substances taken from our client at the time of his arrest, viz. 2½ kilos of floppies (we understand these to be similar to uppers, downers, benders and twisters), we wish to make clear that of the current charge, that of obstructing PNCU’s operating system in the course of its duties, he is Innocent because The Software Was Written By Somebody Else quite possibly in the pay of the MAFIA (North London branch).

Incidentally, our client is not afraid to show his snout; it looks like this:

Allegations as to its contents may be made to the Editor; the first correct answer will win a prize.

Goosequill, Goosequill, Goosequill, Gasse-Turbyn and Goosequill

Practising Solicitors
Expert Turf Accountants